Why I expected more from Free!

Hello there and welcome back to my “Why something or rather is this for these reasons” blog post. Thank you to all those who read my last past on the incorrect classification of K-On!. It was really well researched too. But this post is just pure rant so hold on tight kids. I may get brutal. (If you get off on that well you’ll be fine. Just make sure you wipe the screen when you’re done.)

Back when it was ok to be a man

Not going to lie, I really wanted to invest in this anime. I remembered when I was introduced to Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and my oh my, was I pleasantly amused. I love my fair share of otome games and whilst I found the female protagonist as a dry as wood (and about as personable) I could look past it because “Oh my glob the romance, the drama, the sexy guys!” The main difference between visual novels made for women and those that are made for men is that women want the slow build up through meaningful interactions, the sexual tension that builds as you realise he blushes at your affection and the release when we feel special as he compliments us on the amazing um, personality, we have. (Seriously guys there is a slight message there)

Totally not turned on.

Men however like their women bound and gagging for it. Yup, some may like the banter but in the end, the women are there for a reason. That is not to say that there isn’t a level of objectification present in both types of games. Women, however, objectify words and actions rather than visual appearance. For me, I look for a game where the man makes me feel both empowered as a woman, yet special and gentle like a flower. I don’t like characters who are sleazy or ones that simper. I want them simple, straight forward and preferably bringing some sort of cooked goods to the table.

That said, why did I expect more from Iwatobi Swim Club? I just did not feel like the guys were, well, guys. If you gave them breasts than maybe their social interactions would have made more sense. Even if they are homosexual, they are still men. Granted the characters are teenagers but I could not become immersed as I was continually wrenched away by how unrealistic the conversations were. Judging by their names, I actually think there might have been a typo in the gender column at some stage. And what guy walks in on his friend and acts surprised when he is wearing swimmers, when it’s established that he walks in on him all the time. Sure, I get you’re going for fan service but come on, consistency please!

Dio: "Remember JoJo, we are the real men"

If we want to talk basic appearance then these guys are not what gets my motor running. Seriously guys, SLAM DOWN A DR PEPPER FOR CHRISTS SAKE! I may not have done swimming squad, but the boys I did not perv on, just merely glanced at between laps, did not have bodies like that. These kids look positively malnourished. If these characters were women I would be outraged! Are the charities aware of this? If not they should because I sure as hell want to sponsor one of these poor, deprived individuals.

So I guess the biggest thing here is that I wanted them to act like men. Sure, if you want to make it as boring as K-On! go ahead, but please, at least get the gender right.